I love my roommates, and only my roommates

Our room is the only place this side of the country that feels like home, and is the only place where I feel wanted. I can come home and have the luxury of being surrounded by people who actually notice that I have just entered the room. It is enough to make me never want to leave. On one hand, I am happy because I feel fortunate to have found such wonderful friends, but then I feel sad because I remember that they are so few in number and so narrowly confined to one space. Being back and staying in the room these past few weeks has made me forget that I am not as important to the rest of the world. I cannot venture out and take it for granted that my presence will have any significance whatsoever, because then I will just be left in the cold and reminded that no, it does not.

I need to figure out who actually gives a shit about me and focus my efforts on them. I waste too much time and too much grief caring about everyone I know, who could hardly do less to reciprocate. I forget that there is a significant minority, right here at home, who are the only people who should actually matter. So, I love my roommates and only my roommates.

I like this outfit

(Minus the sequins)

Too bad this weather will only allow for the same boring-wool-coat/ridiculously-poofy-jacket rotation for the rest of the winter.

Even more than having to smuggle my Us and sevens, this inability to type colons or quotation marks is beginning to drive me mad. I long for the chance to quote, or mock. I yearn for the ability to form proper contractions. My lists are no longer delineated in a sophicated manner (dashes are not sophisticated), and I cannot prove my grammatical genius by correctly using a semicolon instead of a comma. My integrity as a writer has been dashed.

My social psych professor is gorgeous

*sigh*

And I still cant get myself to go to class. Dammit.

More positive body image

I want you

I waste gobs and gobs of time watching movies and TV. It is ridiculous. I just cannot motivate myself to work or do anything productive (like find a job. urgh.).

I also have lots of clothes. They are spilling grotesquely out of my closet. Enough shopping for a good, long while.

I need to get organized. I think I will hop down to CVS and buy-- a desk tray, laundry detergent, white board/giant wall calendar. Wish I could also buy a life there. Or at least a puppy. But I cannot.

La la la, things go as usual.

Dennis Quaid is cool

I have had an easy life. No real struggle, no great pain. I am like an observer--I know what sorts of things others experience and go through, but I have never had to face any of it myself. Like being in love, taking a holiday from life, getting into a fight, missing someone, hurting someone, crossing the line, being really and truly passionate about something. I know these things happen and I know about the problems and joys they bring, but I can only watch and nod quietly to myself, taking notes in case my future proves more eventful than the present. And maybe it is a good thing that I have been so barred and hidden from the harsh realities of privileged-college-kid life. But it is in human nature to want what you cant have. I suppose that while I am at this vantage point of the shielded observer, I may as well sit and foolishly want and want and never have to worry about actually feeling any of it. Romantic notions are always dashed by the truth anyway.

Indian actresses are comfortable with their bodies

Take, for example, this hottie:






I dont normally watch Indian movies due to their abysmally low quality (and I would highly recommend that you use the same precaution), but I will have to say that there is one thing they certainly do right: Not starve their actresses. So I guess Indian actresses have a pretty good deal. They dont have to act much--mostly just a lot of bad dancing and standing around looking shocked/violated--they dont have to diet, and they dont have to do anything on-screen that you wouldnt see on a Saturday morning cartoon. Of course, theres the whole living-in-India thing, and the pretending-to-be-in-love-with-a-gross-hairy-old-guy thing... But, you cant have everything.



(By the way, my u key is out of order, so I have to copy and paste my us from elsewhere and I happened to get todays u from a link. Oops.)

Went to the doctor's office with a persistent cough...

And now I need to start: an asthma regimen (after years of nothing :< ), physical therapy for the scoliosis which I've always suspected and which an X-ray confirmed, and iron pills for randomly being anemic.








On the plus side, I have a brand new pair of glasses: