After over a week of being off

my phone has received:

1 mass new year's text from an unknown number
1 roomie text
1 message from my mom, and
0 voicemails

Sigh.

The thought that there is a man in the world in whose head this image originated

terrifies me.

I hate it when it is so cold that my face becomes numb and my nose runs and I don't know it's running because my face is numb and I frolic about with an unattended runny nose.

Even though my phone is dead

I still bring it around to pretend I have someone to text to in awkward situations.

Obligatory New Year's post

I don't know what made 2009 any different from 2008 or 2007, or what will make it any different from 2010. It's not that change has not occurred--it's just that it's hard to quantify the minor ups and downs of a generally unremarkable life into neat little units of time. In my mind it all just runs together, sometimes jumbled and never important.

I always like the think that the best and worst is still to come, but it's my biggest fear that this is not true. Maybe this is it. Maybe I'm doomed to forever reside in the gray, pleasant, bland space between happiness and misery. Maybe it's a sign that I spend every new year's eve in the claustrophobic limbo that is San Jose. Maybe tonight has merely marked the end of nothing and the perpetuation of nothing.

So, resolution: drama! suspense! an inflated sense of self-importance! Life should be more than just something that happens between periods of eating.

WHAT

is with the instant gut formation upon arrival to the Bay? It should not take less than a week to magically become 3 months pregnant. There is something in the water here and it is making me fat without requiring me to actually drink any water and I will find out what it is.

My swine flu vaccine gave me swine flu

and I am annoyed by the sound of my own breathing.

You know it's break when

the greatest intellectual stimulation of the week is realizing that the two movies you just watched consecutively had the same quote from Nietzsche.