I would marry Philip Seymour Hoffman.
I've lately been getting very clever spam that plays into my desire to be wanted. The address is always "To: ksam@seas.upenn.edu" so it could plausibly be legit. The subject line is the brilliant part though--"Why don't you pick up your phone?" "Re: Message" "I wanted to say sorry" "Long time no see"... How could I resist such pleas for my attention? I always delete them without opening though, my heart breaking just a little each time.