Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My teeth

I've had a problem for several years where, periodically, the gap between two of my back teeth in the top row of my jaw will start to hurt. It's very annoying. I should probably check it out.

Also, I'm in love with Paul Messaris.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

It is a lot easier

to write things down than to say them out loud. So maybe I will start to write things down. I will operate under the illusion that people will actually read this, or maybe that I will read it in the future and find it amusing or uncomfortable.

I almost cried today. I say almost, because when I realized what was happening I got so excited that I accidentally stopped. That was sad. It's been a while since I've felt moved enough by something to cry. I don't remember the last time I cried without forcing myself to. I force myself to because it's cathartic, but I'm not very good at it and I often fail.

I love people. I love learning about them and thinking about them and talking about them. I love being surprised by them, and being disappointed by them. I want to know what makes someone tick, what their childhood was like, what their life is like. I like making blatant assumptions about them and being proven wrong--or right. Most people don't realize how fascinating they are. But every person has so many layers and quirks and flaws that I can think of nothing more fulfilling than talking to someone and picking them apart. I want people to take me into their confidence. I want them to trust me, and to share with me their pain and happiness. I want to feel close to them, for them to feel close to me. Why do people hide themselves when they have so much to offer?

It is ironic and kind of disappointing that I care about people so much and yet know so few of them and have learned so little about the ones I do know.

But I guess you can't have everything.