WHAT

is with the instant gut formation upon arrival to the Bay? It should not take less than a week to magically become 3 months pregnant. There is something in the water here and it is making me fat without requiring me to actually drink any water and I will find out what it is.

My swine flu vaccine gave me swine flu

and I am annoyed by the sound of my own breathing.

You know it's break when

the greatest intellectual stimulation of the week is realizing that the two movies you just watched consecutively had the same quote from Nietzsche.

About to make this private

so if you would like to keep following, shoot me an email =) I would like to have more control over my readership.

ps. merry christmas

For the Ladies

Ohhh yeah ;)

A History in Cutlery

On my desk are: 3 mugs, 2 bowls, a plate, several empty bottles and an empty ice cream carton, 2 tupperware boxes, and 9 forks/spoons/knives. And a quarter inexplicably wrapped in toilet paper.

The opening titles for Dexter

absolutely blow my mind. They are beautiful--no flashy title effects, no loud rock soundtrack, no flashes of bloody bodies, just pure camerawork and sound editing to tell more of a story than any amount of pizazz can.

Dance and Porn part 3

I need to stop doodling naked dancing legs all over my notes. As beautiful as I may consider disembodied limbs to be, I feel the people studying around me will think less "what a lovely representation of the human form" and more "oh em gee, total perv to my left."

I cannot explain or fathom why

...this is such a beautiful picture of a walnut.

I have already decided my Halloween costume for next year

I will go as Phineas Gage.



So in a last-ditch effort to stay conscious, I decided to take a short break to try sketching anatomically correct bodies in various different dance poses. I discovered two things from the horror than resulted: a) I really don't know what I'm doing when I dance and b) I really don't know what I'm doing when I draw.

Why are bull terriers

so damn terrifying??

edit: Ok, so this one is kind of cute, but I swear in real life they look like the spawn of Satan, if Satan was a dog and had reproductive capabilities.

Whoops

Come on, like it's never happened to you before.

Is it weird that

between the moaning and complaining and coffee-making and code-cursing and dire hopelessness of never really being prepared or smart or good enough, there is some part of me that is sheepishly excited at the thought of learning in the next few days everything that I never bothered to learn during the semester?

Yay

My first real chance to do something I haven't done in ages: take pictures at an event that I am attending purely to take pictures. Photography at its finest--maximum stalker power, minimum human interaction. I feel like a retired cop in a lame action move/comedy going in for "one last job."

Also, someone's cellphone just rang and their ringtone was Teardrop by Massive Attack, aka the House theme. Awesomeness abounds.

H.C. Gang?

Yay Paul Hewitt for being the only fun part of high school physics. Because of you, I will always check with my neighbor.

I love you all

Please, please, please don't die of some disease or accident or undetected heart condition. And please don't kill yourselves, because it would kill me too.

Ok, thank you.

Studying in the Rodin upper lobby

Distracting background chatter is only acceptable when done in a British accent.

I miss my camera

So here is a picture from someone else's.

more childhood flashbacks

In a fit of nostalgia, I managed to locate an old online text game I used to play in middle school. I putted around for a while and got bored, and decided to type the command, "kiss farmers." The game responded with, "You must have a very strange social life."

Random childhood flashback

When my brother and I were in middle school, my brother had 3 groups in his AIM buddy list: Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft. Nintendo were the cool people, Sony were the okay people, and Microsoft were the people he didn't like (why he continued online correspondence with them, I will never know). For the longest time I had just assumed I was a Nintendo, but then one day I found my screen name on the Sony list. And in some small way, it broke my heart.

A miracle has occurred

I don't know if it's because I misread the assignment (a highly likely possibility) or because the hand of some cosmic force of benevolence assisted me, but the unthinkable has occurred--after gearing up for a full night and day of coding with dinner, snacks, drinks (all of which were inhaled in a gruesomely short period of time) and a deep feeling of regret for not starting sooner, I manage to finish in... 3 hours?? With multiple daydreaming/facebook/weak-but-well-intentioned-jive-kick breaks?

I drew my first penis

For four years I have avoided it--the awkward process of staring at, analyzing, and finally rendering in some form or another what appears to be a hack-up, last minute appendage tacked on to an otherwise beautiful human form. I chose angles that hid the beast from view, or tastefully applied a skirt or other piece of clothing to cover it. Even Doug's silent, accusatory glances and Scott's outright criticisms could not prevent my chronic castration of male figures. But today, when our model sat with legs splayed in my direction, his glory facing me head on as if daring me to ignore it, I knew that I finally had to fill in the empty crotch space that has characterized my artwork thus far. And even though it is insultingly diminutive, hastily drawn, an inorganic shade of orange, and resembles a trebuchet or duck more than a propagator of offspring, I did it. I finally drew a penis.

I have decided to start going to the gym

after realizing that the act of shoving laundry in the machine elevates my heart rate to a level that qualifies as cardiovascular activity.

Dear CIS262 homework

you are doing a lousy job of spontaneously completing yourself.

Last minute interview prep

and much needed website update! (Took out shitty work, put in slightly less shitty work, updated resume)

If I were a man

I would totally be a stoner.

Old guy I have a crush on #3 or 4

Gary Oldman!

Hello again

Moving back here after a distinct lack of love for the new one.

Shutting this thing down

Bye bye blog.

The best way to cure boredom

I recently discovered the 90s British show Jeeves and Wooster, which happens to combine two of my favorite things ever: Hugh Laurie and P.G. Wodehouse's brilliant series of books. I read them as a kid and loved them--my first wonderful taste of British humor. I guess if I'm going to rot here in my lonely apartment I might as well ingest more countless hours of quality TV.

As a side note, I stumbled upon the song Minnie the Moocher, which would be a TOTALLY SEXY RUMBA (or Foxtrot I guess, but rumba is cooler).



(1980s version that was in Blues Brothers, not the 1940-something original, not that you would care)

Edit: MY PROFESSOR WILL DANCE THE RUMBA AND IT WILL BE DAMN SEXY.

I love Hugh Laurie

After a tumultuous separation from former husband Christian Bale, I have come to rediscover my love for Hugh Laurie.





*Dreamy sigh*

I watched

30 Days of Night on TV the other day. It might have been scary if it weren't for the fact that Danny Huston makes the most adorable zombie-vampire ever.

More cool stuff

So I decided to see what the "face" of ballroom is. I used current board members because there are a lot of people on the team.

Edit: Too few guys on the board, so I helped them out with some other men on the team =)

Edit Edit: Thinking it unfair that the guys get non-board members too, I added some girl non-board members. Updated images below. Took out androgynous.

MALE

FEMALE

Cool stuff

So, because I find this fascinating and think everyone else should to, here's more fun morphing stuff.

These are the nine images that I used. I tried to pick pictures that were all facing roughly the same direction and with similar facial expressions. Also, I wanted pictures that looked like the person they were supposed to represent, and, most importantly, had limited or no makeup. I found that makeup had a BIG effect and compromised the accuracy of the composites.

And here are some other fun combinations:

ROOM 1307 (Irene and Michelle both included)

ROOM 1308

THE ASIANS

THE INDIANS

BALLROOM

NON-BALLROOM

(Is it just me or is Miss Non-ballroom very, very attractive? Psh.)

An interesting thing I noted was that some people, for whatever reason, seem to have a MUCH stronger effect on the morphs than others. I will leave it up to you to guess who!

And because our rooms should really hold 9 people...

The NINE of us! (8 + 9th roomie Michelle)

Difference is subtle, but there--more refined jawline, bigger smile =)

If the 8 of us mated

and had a baby...




that baby would grow up to look like that. Crazy.

Blub blub blub

I HAVE FIGURED OUT THE SOURCE OF MY MASSIVE WEIGHT GAIN. ALL OF THE CALORIES THAT FORMERLY CAUSED MY WRITING TO BE CLEVER AND WITTY HAVE SOMEHOW BEEN REROUTED TO MY WAISTLINE, CHEEKS AND THIGHS. ON THE PLUS SIDE, MY CLOTHES FIT BETTER AND I CAN SOMETIMES REARRANGE MY ARM FATS TO MAKE THEM RESEMBLE BICEPS WHEN I AM BORED.

Sigh again

SF Pride was this weekend but I went camping with family friends and didnt go. I am quite devastated, because I really wanted to go and was planning to and naively thought that after a month of being on my own I would find people to go with. But, sadly, I still have no friends and instead of being in downtown SF having fun and what would be an incredible experience I will sit at home in San Jose, smelly and covered in mosquito bites and watching TV or something.

(Alright, so camping was quite fun too, but I am still grumpy and feel like a loser because I have no friends.)

Sigh

It has been three weeks in the city and I have already

--committed a parking violation
--gotten a traffic ticket
--hit a parked car

It turns out that I am not, in fact, a good driver. It is just that driving in the suburbs is like riding a bike with training wheels.


SIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHHHHHdhfggjrdtwetwe!!!

Things I learned about Hugo Weaving while attempting to model his head

1. He is a stud.



2. He has a giant forehead.


3. He is probably the skinniest man in the world to have legitimately chubby cheeks.


4. ...


5. This Agent Smith action figure has to be the worst likeness I have ever seen in a toy, ever.

play

I went to see a play double feature. It was a small theater and the actors were right in front and the audience was small and we drank wine. The actors were great. They were all old except for one who was young but he took off his hat and he was bald.

It was nice.

Sigh

It is starting to get lonely with only the radio and the infernal San Francisco traffic to keep me company. Where do you go to meet people in a new town, anyway?

bloop bloop bloop

Hello

Last night at home. Mother gave me the obligatory "You have betrayed me" stare she gives me every time I leave.

Got a visit from a potential renter today. He had an incredibly hot Irish accent and I promptly lost my shit. These people need to warn me if they plan on being gorgeous.

Advice

Radio advertisers should know that using words like "simmering" to describe an Italian opera will only make me hungry for pasta.

Argh

The task of planning San Francisco's streets was apparently outsourced to the minions of Hell.

...

I have nothing to say, so instead I will present you with this brilliant movie poster.



The expression on his face is spectacular.

Visual Stimulation

I realized that it has been some time since I put up a picture. Sadly, I was forced to delete all my pictures to free up hard drive space so all I have for you is a relatively uninteresting picture of some shrubbery.


Are you visually stimulated yet?

Eek

I need to stop watching TV/movies right before going to sleep. My dreams are getting way too interesting.

Mom-isms

After announcing to my mom my plans to marry an older man: "Whatever makes you move, baby."

My mother is a disturbing and fascinating woman.



In other news, HELLO NEW APARTMENT. I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE MY FRIEND.

Ninth day of isolation

The walls are beginning to tell me their secrets. I am going up to SF to check out housing tomorrow. I will say no more lest I jinx myself, but let it be known that it may just be a sweeeet deal.

Trying to sew myself a syllabus costume. Sad to think that after spending $15 on materials and hours on labor, it is still going to look like a bedsheet and fall apart after one use. Need to redo the skirt--always forget that things need to get past the blimps I call legs before they can make it to my waist. My mum stumbled upon it and has since eyed it suspiciously every time I announce plans to go out.

It has been many days since I have made a lewd or inappropriate comment. I always feel a little less virile during the summers.

Have you ever tried to make shapes with ceiling patterns, like you would with clouds? It is pretty much the same, except that they dont move and you can stay in bed.

Tap tap

Been in complete isolation for nearly a week. Blog is the only one-way window to the outside world. Like crossing off days on the trunk of a tree on a deserted island.

My neck hurts

Mostly because I have been conducting most of my day to day business propped up on my bed for the last 3 days.

I have come to realize that I, unlike most living creatures, do not possess a fight-or-flight response. I dont panic, I dont stress, and I rationalize my way out of tight corners until the tales I am spinning fail to convince even me. As a result, I am irresponsible. I am of the "Problems will go away after a good nap" school of thought, and it has taken me to terrifying heights of delinquency. I must stop this before it is too late.

It is already too late.

Achievements since I have been home

--Got a new phone
--Converted my previously immaculate room into the aftermath of a tornado, overnight
--Became addicted to the original Star Trek
--Refrained from seeing (nonexistant) friends or even exiting my room, which has acquired a stale scent and a light aura of despair

Sounds pretty good. It is now time to vegetate on my bed and eventually fall asleep, one hand resting on my laptop keyboard, the other clutching a miscellaneous food/drink item.


Like this, but less adorable.

On a side note, in my attempt to look for images with which to supplement this post, I discovered that “vegetating” is also something fingers and toes do when they grow fungus and want to scare you.

I guess that is that

Today my mom strutted about to show off her newly lost weight, then proceeded to tell me I smell like curry. I think she is getting cocky.

Is it stupid to be sad because I dont feel sad--at all? Or to suspect that to most of the few people I actually got a chance to meet before I left, the 2 minutes spent saying goodbye to me were a meaningless, obligatory footnote in an otherwise somber and significant day? I guess at the end of the year, when time is scarce and friends are prioritized, is when I realize that the people who actually have time for me are fewer and farther between than I would like to have thought.

What kind of idiot

keeps going and going when all signs say Dead End Ahead.

Dear person I dont know who is studying at my table

I apologize for slurping my milkshake, but it is delicious so I will have to continue. I would offer you some if I were more creepy.

La la la

Today I vegetated on top of the packing boxes that are now obscuring our living floor, watching the sun rise and contemplating how it was the second to last time I would ever be able to vegetate on my roommates’ boxes, until I was finally serenaded by a symphony of alarms telling me it was time to go to bed. And now I am going to bed. I am going to wake up obscenely late and bleary-eyed, and silently panic while puttering about uselessly for a few hours before going out at night and bragging about the all-nighter that I will intend to pull but will replace with the better alternative of passing out on the boxes again.

Hee hee

I forgive my hair simulation for failing to work because it is adorable and looks like Jello.

...

Why cant they make these for humans too.

Please mock me

So I recently realized that the most effective way for me to learn something, and to really remember it, is to be mocked for doing it wrong. So, if I am doing something wrong and it would truly be to my benefit to change, please mock me.

This packet of M&Ms

contains a disconcertingly high volume of blue.


In other news--100th post! Yay! Everybody gets cake.

And because I am twisted like that, it will be this demonic baby cake.

Email from my dad

"AllState called to say crack is not covered by insurance."

I will pretend that this statement is not a result of being Indian and possessing shaky English, but rather a result of my family being much more dangerous/awesome than I previously suspected.

Just realized that my depression-inducing complete lack of email these last few days was a result of SEAS blocking my password and thus preventing messages from being forwarded to my Gmail. Good news for my fragile self-esteem and desperate need for love and attention, bad news for trying not to piss people off with unresponsiveness. Also, my mom, fed up with my lack of input on the proper date to return to school in the fall, went ahead and booked a date which may or may not be completely disastrous. Oops.

Also, I decided to invent a new punctuation. | | is what you will use when you want to insert a parenthetical statement within a parenthetical statement. (Because I am always wanting to do that. |Is this not cool.|)


Edit-- Realized I misused the word "therefore" in the second paragraph and changed it to "thus." Slightly ashamed.

Study center of the hour

Fisher Fine Arts Library, second floor with the carrels. Because it is warm, private, and mildly terrifying.

I am going to sleep

because I have spent the better part of the last three hours reading disturbing childrens books online and trying not to stare at the glorious plumbers crack of the guy sitting in front of me.

I need something with which to bop myself over the head until I become an efficient automaton of programming perfection.

Also, say hello to Mr. Alien Fish Man.

Note how his absence of junk does not prevent him from being damn sexy.

You better thank me

because every good show needs a cast of extras.

Also, here is a hamster.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One day

I will look back at my college years and ask myself what I did with all that time that I did not spend getting something out of it.

lalalalalalala

today is one of those days where i will post a picture of a puppy



aaand that is that.

My poor alien

Scott’s only words to me after working for over an hour with everybody else: “Your alien is handsome, but he has no genitals.”

A week left before our final crit, my project is nowhere near completion and has in fact not progressed at all for weeks, and apparently his greatest concern is my model’s lack of equipment.

My mark in history

I was walking down the hallway in the art building when I noticed something eerily familiar in the Drawing 1 displays. It was my unfinished clay figure. Sometime during the several months I had left it neglected in the drawing room, someone decided to make it part of a still life. And it has now been immortalized in the charcoal drawings of numerous Drawing 1 students.

My life finally has meaning.

Bum bum

What happens when this weekend is over and I no longer have anything to look forward to.

Awkward

I was in the law library working, and in a state of agitation started mindlessly slapping my thighs. I went on for a while before I realized it was the only sound in the room.

Okay that was not nearly enough

Cute fat things cute fat things cute fat things cute fat things cute FAT THINGS