Am I the only one

...who is utterly in love with the ShamWow guy?

My mind has been blown

I was watching the movie Philadelphia and noticed this:




Does that look familiar to you? It should! It's the Fisher Freaking Fine Arts Library! They shot this scene of the movie in the Fine Arts Library! I've sat at that table! I could have sat in the same chair that Tom Hanks or Denzel Washington did 15 years ago. Oh my God. I guess I shouldn't be surprised given the name of the film but Oh My God. Excuse me while I salvage the pieces of my BLOWN MIND.

If I could have multiple husbands

I would marry Philip Seymour Hoffman.





I've lately been getting very clever spam that plays into my desire to be wanted. The address is always "To: ksam@seas.upenn.edu" so it could plausibly be legit. The subject line is the brilliant part though--"Why don't you pick up your phone?" "Re: Message" "I wanted to say sorry" "Long time no see"... How could I resist such pleas for my attention? I always delete them without opening though, my heart breaking just a little each time.

Christmas is all around us

Merry Christmas!


Brie and Pesto Fondue:



Yum.

Piggies say hello

Hello.


I have way too much fun with this damn blog. I love writing in it, even though everything I have written so far has been completely useless. I like the fact that I know exactly who's reading it (I believe there's four of you) and I'm kind of talking to them. Anyway, I should probably stop all the giddy self-referencing; it'll take me out of the "zone." So back into the zone we go.

According to my brother my website is pretentious. How is it pretentious? It's very simple, with a pleasant and drab color scheme. The content is plain and straightforward. It serves its purpose. It's not pretending to be anything besides a reflection of my drab personality and body of work. Nothing about me is pretentious. I lack pretention. My brother is pretentious. He has no taste. Hmph.

I don't like it when people disagree with me about me.

Hmph.

I have a website

I have created my first website since middle school. It is the greatest website ever created.

You can find it here.

I have no idea what this is

But it's so cute it makes you want to crap your pants.

Deep descriptive things

I am studying for Stat, but really I am just glaring furiously at my Stat textbook so that Dheepa will think I am studying, and my mind is wandering freely. I am feeling unsettled. I am shaking my leg in nervousness and its mass is swinging back and forth fantastically. The table also seems to be shaking a little and my monitor is nodding in response. My scalp hurts because I fell asleep on a couch in some musty basement with my hair slung over my face, and after 5 hours of being in this position, The Hair objects to my attempts at putting it in order again. I am checking my email every minute and gurgling with happiness every time I get a new message (usually penis spam). I am thinking about a variety of things, most of which relate to myself, and my thoughts are consistently interrupted by the bursts of panic I feel as I watch the clock on my computer sally forth. I am also gnawing on my fingers. Not the nails, just the fingers. They don't taste like anything because I am not actually eating them. I found a dollar in my calculator and a rolled up, unfamiliar sock in my purse. I'm looking at the walls of my room and realize that none of the decorations belong to me; they are random artifacts with the calculated purpose of lending me the appearance of novelty and culture. The things that should be on my walls are in my mind instead.

God, I hope everyone will be okay.

I don't know what my problem is

but I'm really, really self-conscious. I always have been. I actually used to be worse, if you can believe it. Everything I say or do, especially to people I don't know that well or (though it's embarrassing to admit) people I want to impress for whatever reason, is tempered and thought over and often regretted. People often think I'm shy, or retarded. I'm not. It's just that my brain is too sluggish to competently carry out the task of mulling over everything I say, and I only think of appropriately brilliant comments long after my window of opportunity has passed. I cannot keep up with conversation. So I usually just listen and smile stupidly, blissfully unaware that this does not make me a valuable contributor to any discussion. I can go for absurdly long stretches of time saying absolutely nothing, but being completely engaged and involved. And when I do try to throw out something, it is often inappropriate or confusing and usually falls flat. I imagine my attempts at conversation make people feel uncomfortable and sad. It's like a hamster without legs trying to run on a hamster wheel. It's horrible and embarrassing to watch, but what can you do? You let it keep on trying.



Also, I worship at the feet of Paul Messaris. He my idol and a demigod and I have a huge, huge, creepy crush on him.

I love Jason Bateman

Here's a Jason Bateman GAP ad:

More Ben Franklin antics and dudes kissing

Here is a book of writings by Ben Franklin:

























In other words, he is my hero.


















In my Visual Communications class, we talked a little bit about how visual media is used to advance social issues like civil rights, and about how film is often the most effective vehicle for doing so. One interesting example is the scene from Dude, Where's My Car? where Ashton Kutcher, in an effort to upstage Fabio, decides to kiss Sean William Scott. In the words of gay filmmaker Bruce LaBruce:

The actors neither overplay nor underplay the moment and show no visible trace of disgust or regret afterward. I was almost in tears. This one scene does more to advance the cause of homosexuality than 25 years of gay activism.

That's a slightly extreme reaction, especially since the scene was played for laughs, but I must admit that in an otherwise over-the-top dumb comedy, it could have been a lot, lot worse. I would have expected the filmmakers to grossly exaggerate and make a farce of it, but they didn't. It's actually a pretty well-made scene, even if the rest of the movie is from most accounts (I haven't seen it) incredibly stupid. If you want to watch it, click on the scandalous picture above.

My goal

My goal from now on is to be more optimistic. I think I've sunk into a very dark, bitter state that is both unnecessary and uncharacteristic.

Also, I need to work on developing a more sophisticated sense of humor. My "just giggle at everything and you'll be fine" principle is starting to lose its effectiveness.